BOHICA. Bend Over, Here It Comes Again

Let's begin with the facts as seen from Mar a Lago. You realize, of course, that like Israel and Ukraine, if Donald Trump had been President, the Los Angeles fire would never have started, right?

I know, I know. some have complained about his reaction, but consider this. Remember in 2011 when half of the state of Texas was on fire during a record setting drought? Remember when President Obama blamed Governor Rick "Perilous" as he called him for not "raking" the East Texas piney woods, or grooming the plains?

Remember when President Gramps blamed Ron DeSantis for the damage from hurricanes Helene and Milton in Florida? Remember when he called him "Ron "Desandbag?"

How about when Katrina struck New Orleans and President W blamed it on Democratic Governor Kathleen Blanco, or "Governor White" in English. He didn't even do them the courtesy of tossing rolls of Bounty towels at the folks in NOLA, or open up the National Strategic Chicory Reserve for them to stem the shortage.

Now, the reason you didn't remember that is because these former so-called "Presidents" didn't have the huevos to say the things that needed to be said. Because, the essence of leadership is knowing whom to blame and when. The answer to both questions is, anyone who isn't me, and always.

For example, why didn't Bill Clinton pick off and annex Bosnia and Serbia when we had the chance? I mean, just because Truman blew it after WWII by not going ahead and grabbing Germany and Japan when we won, it doesn't mean that is some sort of democratic precedent or anything? If you don't like a treaty, you know, like Panama, just toss it and send in the 101st Airborne.

Hey, if you're a star, or at least a President, you can do anything with Greenland, even grab 'em by the ice shelf. Who is going to stop you, Denmark? We're not even sure if that's a real country.

And if they don't cooperate, just rename it Damerica. Prime Minister Starmer objecting to Elon lying to the British? Just rename the place Great Bramerica or something. You know, on the other side of the American Ocean.

Even when your explanations for the difficulty fighting the LA fires are laughably wrong, just blame it all on environmentalists and a small fish and you'll always have Marjorie Taylor Greene to saddle up and defend you.

Oh, and don't forget DEI, the new cudgel used by conservative folks to explain why this fire is so hard to contain. Oh hell, it's used to explain everything that doesn't go well. It's all the fault of...uh...you know, those people being hired as firefighters. Come on, you know what I mean, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. The new conservative foil and Trump cabana boy on CNN, Scott Jennings clearly implied that if only there were more white guys on the fire line...

Jennings protested that he was not saying only White men are capable of being effective firefighters.

“I’m not,” he said. “I’m just simply saying that as a matter of public policy in California, the main interest in the fire department lately has been in DEI programming and budget cuts.
“But Scott,  are we really blaming the fire department?” host Abby Phillip asked. “The L.A. fire department?”
“No, I’m blaming the Democrats who run the state,” he said.

Meanwhile, over on Fox News earlier on Wednesday night, Laura Ingraham laid partial blame on Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland, who is native American, whom the host called “another DEI hire of the Biden administration.”

What, you say? How about grocery prices and the border? Come on, we have countries to pretend to threaten to invade sort of, and governors and Prime Ministers to insult. An incoming President has a full plate and sadly, it's covered with a Big Mac and fries.

Besides, if I talk about this extraneous nonsense, you'll forget that I nominated a couple of decent cabinet picks, unfortunately, surrounded by the original Insane Clown Posse. That, and the fact that my most trusted advisor is busy talking with Nazis in Germany and insulting even more European leaders. But if I reign him in, he won't fly to the space station anymore, so my hands are tied.

That's just this week in Trumpistan. I know, you forgot how the fun just never takes a day off under this guy.

But I do have a suggestion for President Gramps before he hits the road. A Trump-appointed Federal Judge in Florida and full-time judiciary courtesan, Eileen Cannon, has put a stay on special prosecutor Jack Smith's final report on the Trump documents case. So, even without a prosecution, we could have all seen the hijinks going on with US military secrets.

Well, since Trump got the Supreme Court to basically excuse any action taken by the President as part of official duties, I recommend Joe release it himself. What can Cannon or anyone else do? He is President for a little over one more week. Put the whole thing on the internet and chuckle to yourself as Air Force One lifts off at Andrews on January 20th.

I for one would love to see how Fox "News" makes it wrong somehow. I'm sure they'll find a way, they always do. For example, a newsletter I get to my amusement is called "The Daily Caller." It was founded by Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson, the fish-stick heir and sometime political head case. You'll love the negative take on what seems like a helpful idea from the administration...

"...the liberal staffers in the White House are using their waning moments of his administration to take on the tough issues. Earlier in the week, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced the advancement of a proposed regulation that would drastically reduce nicotine levels in cigarettes, a move intended to make them less addictive.

Although public health advocates praise this initiative, writes Fox News, critics warn it could unintentionally fuel a surge in black market activity and organized crime. The regulation, known as the Tobacco Product Standard for Nicotine Level of Certain Tobacco Products, recently cleared a review by the Office of Management and Budget (OMB), marking a significant step forward. However, the finalization and implementation timeline remain unclear."

So, banks still get robbed, so why bother with guards? People still speed, so why bother with limits or even stop lights?

Here's another example of the gambit of taking an otherwise positive event or statement and picking out one negative to wrestle to the ground and beat into submission. President Biden in Los Angeles promised a major disaster declaration, 5 large Forest Service air tankers, dozens of Forest Service fire vehicles and personnel, and the Air Force is sending C-130 tankers to help out as well. And, of course, a boatload of money.

But at the end of the press conference, he mentioned that he had just become a great-grandfather, and they were off and running. The conservative whine-o-sphere complained that Biden was way out of line and inappropriate despite all he was sending to California. If we forgot, and we surely have, the New York Times reminded us today...

Trump initially refused to approve federal aid to California for wildfires in 2018 until a National Security Council staffer showed him that Orange County had a dense concentration of voters who supported him, according to Politico.

In another example, in 2020, FEMA rejected a request to provide aid to California for a half-dozen wildfires and then reversed course the next day after Republicans made appeals to Trump and the governor and president spoke over the phone.

But, like the angry and insulting "press conferences," this too will be a part of the next four years.

But let's end with a laugh, shall we? One of my favorite satirists is Andy Borowitz, who used to be a regular on some morning show or another and should be again. He wrote this week...

HEAVEN (The Borowitz Report)—In a wide-ranging interview on Thursday, former President Jimmy Carter said that the best part of Heaven “by far” is the knowledge that he will never see Donald J. Trump again.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful for the gift of eternal life,” he said. “But an eternity without Trump is the greatest gift of all.”

Carter said that he was “far from alone” in appreciating his Trump-free existence, adding, “Nelson Mandela just said the same thing.”

Asked if he had seen Trump on cable news criticizing his sale of the Panama Canal, Carter responded, “We don’t have cable news up here. I’ve heard it’s on nonstop in the other place.”