"Clean Up on Aisle 3"

"We will not hire a blacksmith who never lifted a sledge. We will not hire a schoolteacher who does not know the alphabet … but when you come to our civil service, we serenely fill great numbers of our minor public offices with ignoramuses."
-Mark Twain

Now, Twain was talking about the so-called "spoils system" of government in the late 19th century, wherein new Presidents cleaned house in the government and hired contributors and devoted followers for government jobs. That was before President Chester A. Arthur decided enough was enough and ushered in the beginnings of a professional, experienced and qualified civil service.

In addition, since they work in an inherently political environment, they eventually had protections against an administration with partisan ideas about what constitutes a professional. So, no matter how frustrated Ike or JFK or Reagan may have gotten, you didn't just fire them wholesale. No, wait. Reagan did fire all the members of the Air Traffic Controllers Union, PATCO. My mistake. And they were all probably white guys to boot.

But, now, we have entered a whole new world of ineptitude in the name of eliminating the modern equivalent of the N-word, DEI. Diversity, equity and inclusion. Now, why welcoming everyone, treating them equally, and making them feel a part of the team is now a bad thing, I just don't understand, but it apparently is.

And, of course before the National Transportation Safety board even got a look at the wreckage of the airliner and helicopter in the DC crash this week, or examined the black boxes, the only President we have found the culprit.

Of course, it was Obama, Biden and their gay stooge, former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg. Here's how CBS reported the press conference...

"I put safety first. Obama, Biden and the Democrats put policy first," Mr. Trump said. "The FAA's website states they include hearing, vision, missing extremities, partial paralysis, complete paralysis, epilepsy, severe intellectual disability, psychiatric disability, and dwarfism." Mr. Trump added that people in those categories would be "qualified" for controller positions, even though the agency's statement does not say that.

The president continued, "Brilliant people have to be in those positions." 

It has been longstanding FAA policy — including before, during, and after Mr. Trump's first term — to include people with disabilities in recruitment. However, there is no evidence that these initiatives have compromised air safety or had any relation to the crash Wednesday night. The cause of the collision remains under investigation.

Air traffic controllers must undergo extensive training and meet rigorous standards, including physical and mental fitness tests. They cannot have a history of mental disorders or physical conditions that could interfere with their duties, according to the U.S. Office of Personnel Management, which is the chief human resources agency for the federal government.

And of course, Mayor Pete came in for special treatment. Just after asking for a moment of silence for those that were lost, Trump said...

"He was a disaster as a mayor. He ran his city into the ground and he's a disaster now. He's just got a good line of bullshit. You know how badly everything's run since he ran the Department of Transportation. He's a disaster."

But I'm sure he meant the word "bullshit" with great respect in light of the tragedy.

Now, we shouldn't fall prey to the mistakes the press made the first go around with this guy, and respond to every bit of crazy twaddle that issues from his open pie hole, like a baby fascinated with jangling car keys. Because there will be something certifiably cuckoo every bloody day. But sometimes, you need to issue corrections.

And now his dutiful supplicants have rushed onto the Sunday shows to explain what he actually meant. No one knows if there was a black guy in the tower that night, but let's be honest. That's virtually what the Prez implied.

I eagerly await the conclusions of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, an actual DUI hire, now that we know the chopper co-pilot was, brace yourselves, a woman.

And the first comments from Mayor Pete's successor, Sean Duffy were, I think, reassuring.

"It's not standard that airplanes burst into flames in mid air, I want to make that clear"

Not many people knew this before and I for one, appreciate the Transportation Secretary clearing that up. Duffy is a former Congressman and state Attorney General, but on the department website, it actually includes this resume entry that no doubt is what caught Trump's eye...

When Sean was in his twenties, he got his start in television on the MTV reality TV show, “The Real World”. He also starred on “Road Rules All Stars,” where he met his wife, Rachel Campos-Duffy. 

Rachel and Sean are America’s first and longest-married reality TV couple.

And then there is our new Homeland Security Secretary, former South Dakota Governor, and animal rights defender, Kristi Noem. The Secretary, incidentally, really ought to lay off the lip fillers, I mean, really.

Perfectly lovely birth mouth, but then again, she works for a guy whose birth skin color is actually this...

Anyway, the Secretary dressed as a cop during some ICE immigrant raids, and wore a cowboy hat, inexplicably, on Meet The Press Sunday.

Thus in just the first week on the job, she cosplayed one third of the Village People.

By the way, no doubt to the Village People's great disappointment, The Defense Intelligence Agency issued a memo concerning events that will not be observed by those in military intelligence gathering.

Now, MLK Day and Juneteenth are now official holidays, but are included on the list anyway. And for heaven's sakes, whatever you do, don't celebrate in a control tower.

In addition, virtually the entire federal workforce have been given what amount to, their walking papers. The legality of that, and Trump's desire to ignore the Constitution on the issue of birth citizenship, will obviously be decided in the courts. Of course, given the Trump cabana boys who occupy several seats on the Supreme Court, he might just get away with it.

And of course, proving Twain right as always, we have Dr. Feelbad up for HHS Secretary and Tulsi Gabbard, who thinks Edward Snowden and Bashir Assad both got a bad rap, for intelligence chief.

And Of course, I keep getting emails from the GOP referencing the January 6th "Patriots" and wanting me to buy more Trump crap. The latest...

Meanwhile, Elon Musk, whose brain has way too many tabs open, and his tech gang have gained control of all federal personnel records. Reuters reports...

Aides to Elon Musk charged with running the U.S. government human resources agency have locked career civil servants out of computer systems that contain the personal data of millions of federal employees, according to two agency officials.

But, hey, what could possibly go right here?

And, while Elon plays kingmaker with the far right, frankly Neo-Nazi AFD party in Germany, including the super secret salute, the war on diversity here continues apace.

Stephen Miller, is the Deputy White House Chief of Staff for Policy and United States homeland security advisor. At the Trump Madison Square Garden rally he declared, “America is for Americans and Americans only.”

Commentator Andy Borowitz observed it is very close to this phrase, “Germany for the Germans—foreigners out.” That phrase was a favorite of, well, you know who.

As the legendary Molly Ivins once said about Pat Buchanan's speech at the Republican Convention in Houston, "It probably sounded better in the original German.”

Now, next time, kids, we'll talk about the new and truly dunderheaded tariffs. Until then, I leave the class with an assignment, two words, Smoot-Hawley.

But for the moment, any time I can end with a Molly Ivins quote, I consider it a good day.