Texas Politics - Texas Outlaw Writers

Grannie Dannie Needs a Gummie, Bezos Bought a Bride

The same old story: Married nerd father meets married Fox TV anchor mom. Married nerd almost loses married TV anchor, but whips out a pic of his... balance sheet. Nerd and TV anchor hook up and tangle like a couple of meth infused weasels.

Trump

I, Love a Parade

By all accounts, the whole Trump parade thing seemed pretty dull. It was less Leni Riefenstahl's "Triumph of the Will" and more Bill Murray's "Stripes."

Texas Politics

"Thank God for Mississippi"

There isn’t a litter box in Texas big enough to contain the bullshit in his allegations that children are going to school dressed as cats and that teachers and administrators are accommodating them with littler boxes in classrooms.

Texas Politics

Loving Texas is Hard Sometimes

The Texas of my imagination collides with Dan Patrick.

Trump

Texas: Furry Dildo Roundup Time

OPSEC is good... so we can confirm Signal chat intercepted by morons. The Furries are frightening. THC may put you in the TDC. And they're coming for your dildos. Repeat: They're coming for your dildos.

Border

Children of the Cane

It appeared a teenaged goat herder had been shot dead by a U.S. Marine on an anti-drug deployment. Esequiel had wanted to be Marine and had a recruiting poster hanging above his bed. When his death was confirmed, Esequiel’s younger brother tore the picture from the wall in their parents’ adobe home.

Immigration

Down on the Rio Grande

The border is booming but the economic expansion is at risk because of the new American president. Consider that exports from Texas supported more than 1 million jobs in this state and we exported $129.5 billion of goods to Mexico in 2023.

Texas Politics

What's the Matter with Texas?

“The rest of this country’s lost its goddamned mind,” I heard one of them say. “They say he is gonna win again.” "I’d sure as hell let him know we don’t like the idea of no damn n****r in our White House. Don’t matter how much time he spent at Harvard, he’s still a n****r and it ain’t right.”

Guns

Cemetery America

"We avert our eyes from the cause and nod sadly at the effect, but take no steps to prescribe a solution. The culture of the gun in the U.S. has lost no battles in the modern era. Our politics keep fertilizing the bloody fields with fewer and fewer controls."

Religion

Boxing with God

"Tonight at 7:00 p.m., Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick will join Matt Crouch, Chairman of Trinity Broadcasting Network, and Dr. Phil for a thought-provoking discussion: whether President Trump’s survival of the recent assassination attempt was a mere stroke of luck or divine intervention."

Election

The Tortilla Curtain

No matter how often Greg Abbott and Trump lie about her being a failed “border czar,” Harris’ responsibility was to mitigate the root causes of migration, which, unsurprisingly, she accomplished.

culture wars

When the Elite Meet to Eat

"You ain't gonna get any nouveau, amandine, thin crust, bottled water, sauteed city food. Food's brown, hot, and plenty of it." -Cookie, the Chuck Wagon cook in "City Slickers"

education

Darwin, Schmarwin. My Kid Ain't Learnin' That!

How about we just call it, "counter-indoctrination?"

War

When Johnny Came Home

The odds of Johnny Mata encountering harm or great danger were considered minimal. But Nancili Mata knew her husband, and it made her worry while her family expressed confidence.

Texas Politics

Darlin' of the Devil

Label it evil: the drowning of immigrants, the dismantling of public education, children that go without healthcare, pardoning murderers, and making sure the next school shooter can buy a gun unimpeded. It's the work of a Devil.

Economy

The War on Youth

The Greatest and Silent Generations understood the importance of a social contract. After having experienced World Wars and the Great Depression, they understood the need to build community. Then their kids (that's us, btw,) got greedy.

national politics

Cracks in the American Mosaic

I brought the contradictions up with Geiorge W. Bush during an off-camera interview in 2004 and asked him how he could reconcile the inherent meanness of the strategy with who he was as a person, and all he said was, “It’s just politics, Jimmy.”

Trump

Happy Easter and Vote for Me

Come unto me all ye who travail and are heavy laden, and I'll relieve you of the weight of all that money.

Immigration

The Art of Hypocrisy

Not being White and living on the border, which is more than 90 percent of the population, became an even greater liability when Abbott and the Texas legislature passed a law to give state and local officers the power to arrest illegal immigrants.

Trump

We Need a Break from Spring Break

Paxton's droopy eyelid isn't the only thing limp at home. Could the Texas Porn boycott be driving the lecherous Attorney General into the arms of another mistress?

Texas Politics

Ignore the Man Behind the Curtain

In terms of issues on America's plate, there is more than Ukraine and Gaza to worry about. And Yass is just one of the many who have amassed a ton of cash and aren't afraid to spend it. In Texas, Three West Texas billionaires have quietly taken over Republican politics in the state.

Texas Politics

I Find Your Lack of Imagination Disturbing

Texas keeps turning ever rightward, and this last set of primary elections continues the trend. It would be nice to keep public education, but it's not a given. Imagine turning off Friday Night Lights in Texas.

Trump

The Borderlord: Chapter Two

Abbott is brazen about using state resources to promote his political agenda, and nothing is more important to him than the border. He has no desire to solve the immigration problem. Instead, he has created a multi-billion $ issues platform to raise his profile, and Texans are paying for it.

Election

Let’s Not Forget About the Other Threat to Democracy: The Gerrymander

Ninety-five percent of the 4 million newcomers to Texas are people of color, half of whom identify as Latino. Yet, the growing number of people of color in Texas is not growing in their ability to choose who represents them.

national politics

Welcome Back to Middle School

What on earth would trigger someone's fury over seeing a happy young couple enjoying themselves, enjoying each other, and enjoying life?

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