Trump the girlfriend rule Which of your friends has gone to the Dark Side, politically speaking? Use the same observational skills you used when trying to get a deeper understanding of that attractive date you brought to meet your pals.
Trump Another Week in Political Paradise "To anyone new to this country trying to figure out our political decision-making practices, I simply want to apologize. It didn't used to be this way."
Election Donny is Done The most confounding element of this election is the ability of the MAGAts to listen to Trump speak and still consider giving him their vote. His speeches are filled with his strange non-sequiturs and speech pathologies that would have him sent to a rest home by most families.
Election Don't Argue! I Know What I Know! "Why are so many of us impervious to actual facts? Why do we simply take someone's word for anything, particularly when shown they are wrong? By wrong, I mean lying."
Trump Little Johnny's Sex Change "Out of all the senile rantings the Republican presidential candidate spouts off, the 'trans surgery at schools' trope clearly establishes his disconnect from reality and the psychotic break he has undergone."
Election They're Eating the Windows! They're Eating the Gas Stoves! "This is the time that candidates go all out and throw everything against the wall to see what sticks. But there is a difference between a Hail Mary and just projectile vomiting random dreck like a sick freshman at a fraternity kegger. So, why do people believe this claptrap?"
Trump To Spite Your Face Trump lopped off his nose in the debate. In addition, his campaign, close allies, and the whole GOP are an army of noseless ghouls wreaking havoc on others. An entire political party bent on cutting off their nose simply to spite their face.
Trump Useful Idiots Yeah, it's Russia, Russia, Russia again. That's only because it is. It's as though Reagan said, "Mr. Gorbachev, do whatever the hell you want with this wall."
Election Death Branding and Other Cons "It is all marketing and brand because the reason people choose things 98 percent of the time is not rational. It’s emotional."
Trump A Garden of Stone Arlington National Cemetery was supposed to be their last place of sanctuary. Surely, no politician would ever dare think to produce a campaign commercial. Who walks among those gardens of stone and contemplates themselves? Had America ever produced such a politician?
Election The Campaign We Deserve? There are so many issues to confront - domestic and foreign. Inflation is down to 2.5% and will come down more when the Fed cuts interest rates in the Fall. I just filled up at $2.69 a gallon. GDP grew at 3% this past month. Border arrests are at a 4 year low. Campaign on that, for heaven's sake!
Trump Lying All Along the Line "Trump often looked constipated or maybe he was grimacing at the memories of how he had been diminished to a punch line by speakers in Chicago. He was cuddling up next to his favorite issue, snuggled there with his lies about how he had built 400 miles of wall on the border."
Journalism Colleagues I Hardly Knew Ye "Expect to hear lots about Project 2025, Kamala's supposed "communist professor" father, a California politician she dated, and more. We'll hear from Trump how the Ukraine War will be ended in one day (?) and China will pick up your grocery tab with tariffs, or something like that."
Religion Boxing with God "Tonight at 7:00 p.m., Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick will join Matt Crouch, Chairman of Trinity Broadcasting Network, and Dr. Phil for a thought-provoking discussion: whether President Trump’s survival of the recent assassination attempt was a mere stroke of luck or divine intervention."
Election Vote For Me! Here's Some Stuff! "The Milwaukee excitement was as artificially pumped up as Hulk Hogan's biceps or Kimberly Guilfoyle's lips. I expect no less in Chicago, only with more tofu."
Election What Would Molly Ivins Say? As we often do in times of political stress where we need a laugh and a bit of hope, we remember Molly Ivins, and wonder, "What the hell would she say about all of this?"
Trump American Dreaming "We are tired of his anger and name calling and lying about subjects as mundane as crowd-size comparisons between his speeches and those of civil rights leader Martin Luther King. Further, how does he think he can win by calling Kamala Harris a “fucking bitch” while rolling around on a golf cart?"
Election The Horrors, The Horrors "Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a mission, and for my sins, they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service. It was a real choice mission, and when it was over, I never wanted another." Was Cpt. Willard heading to the 2024 election?
Science Are We Sure They Were Actually in Russia? "No one is trusted, expertise is doubted, those who have worked their entire lives toward a goal, scientific, journalistic or political, are immediately dismissed because some vacuous lamebrain on YouTube made a video. "
Election The Tortilla Curtain No matter how often Greg Abbott and Trump lie about her being a failed “border czar,” Harris’ responsibility was to mitigate the root causes of migration, which, unsurprisingly, she accomplished.
Trump The Debate Debate His falsehoods ranged from "oh, bullshit," to "this is the kinda crap that produces violent fury." Which is his M.O.